Biggest 'little' blessings...

Hey y'all it's Shannon again. It's Friday again everyone! Who is excited for Friday!? Me, me, pick me!! I love the weekend I love that feeling of having finished another week. Does anyone else feel that way, like getting through the week is sometimes a HUGE accomplishment? I certainly have.

 But this Friday is shaping up to be a pretty good one I've enjoyed my coffee, the littles were sitting in the window seat making silly faces at each other... and now I'm remembering how little they used to be! I can't believe how big they've gotten  (Ashley and Kailly's babies too)!? Children grow up so fast ... It's like one day we are holding a teeny tiny little baby and they grow overnight and they start walking and then running. Then one day we wake up and they can reach what we have on the counter and can climb virtually anything and everything!? I realized that my Big M is going to be 4 years old at the end of this month and Little M will be 3 years old this summer.... How did that happen?? Where did the time go?? How did they get so big so crazy fast??!

  I look at my little MnMs today and they are the spittin' image of their handsome daddy. They both have big blue eyes and sandy blonde hair and even the same big Danish noggin. They are my big boys now. I held each of these boys in my arms as my babies. I swaddled them in blankets and rocked them to sleep singing soft sweet lullabys. I woke up to check on them all throughout the night just to be sure they were still breathing. I carried these precious boys in my body and they've heard my heart beat from the inside! I dreamed what they would look like and how they would be. I have loved them my whole life. When I dreamed of having children I was dreaming of these two beautiful blue eyed boys that are looking at me right now asking for applesauce... .... .... .... (And I'm back the lack of applesauce situation has been remedied) I've always loved them and when I actually met my boys I only fell more in love with them and I've yet to love another human being this much! I knew from the minute I held them that I would do anything to protect them and to make sure that they know they are precious to me and so so very loved. 

  On the day that my first son, Big M, came into this world I was utterly exhausted but the very second I saw him it was all worth it and it's like I felt nothing but pure love in that one second and then I held him and looked into his big beautiful blue eyes I snuggled him close and with tears in my eyes said, "Hi (Baby M) I'm your mama." It hit me in that beautiful moment that this precious little baby boy that I was holding so close against my heart... is mine! He is my baby boy! We've held other babies or have been around other peoples children and sometimes we even love other peoples children but it's still just not the same.... I labored long and hard to meet Baby Big M that day not knowing what to expect (even after reading 'What To Expect When You're Expecting') I remember feeling scared and unbelievably empowered at the same time, feeling so out of control of my body and yet finding an inner strength I never knew that I had. My son was the reason I experienced that amazing day! That very special day when I held my first son close to my heart and thanked God for blessing me with a precious child of my own! Then I kissed his perfect little forehead and handed him back to the nurse and I watched as my husband gave our brand new baby his first bath and my heart swelled with overwhelming love for my husband as I watched him kiss the same tiny little forehead and gently cradle our baby for the first time and I watched in awe as our marriage became a family right before my very eyes. 


  When I first held my second son, Little M, I was simply amazed  at how tiny he was and I gasped, "Aww he's such a little fish" I cradled him gently in my arms so nervous that I would somehow break this tiny little guy. I smiled down at him and marveled that he looked so much like his older brother and I touched my nose to his teeny little nose and breathed his name softly and I told him I loved him and then I whispered to him that I was his mama and I would protect him forever. Shortly after the hospital staff had to rush him out and he was taken to the NICU at a different hospital (he wasn't able to hold anything down in his little stomach and the doctor thought it was some rare stomach/intestinal condition where they have a sealed blockage that would have had to be operated on...) but before he left I reached into the little incubator and I held his little hand whispered a prayer over him and watched as they wheeled my baby boy, my "little fish", out of my room and down the hall. I turned away and cried as I thought what was going on. A million questions raced through my mind ... Is he going to be ok? Will he have to have surgery? Is he strong enough for that? Am I? And I wept as I briefly imagined a future without having my precious Little M... I immediately started packing myself and our belongings up so we could get out of there as fast as was physically possible. They discharged me from the hospital much too early but I was annoyingly persistent about getting out of there and getting to my baby! (so I don't blame them for wanting to get rid of me haha.) We were reunited in the NICU at the other hospital and I remember being even more afraid to break him I was so nervous to hold him or even touch him and I felt so helpless because my heart was crippled with the horrific thought of losing him. I gradually got more and more secure as my husband and the nurses sweetly reassured me. We did eventually get to bring home our second sweet little baby boy but those first few days of my  Little M's life were the most overwhelmingly joyful, tearful, and truly terrifying moments of my life! When we brought him home and he met his big brother and we watched our little family grow again my husband, me, Big M and baby little M. (and Snickers too)

Me holding Baby Big M.

This is me holding Baby Little M.

  
  Now y'all I sat down at eight in the morning to start this blog and now it is almost eight in the evening and as I type this my sweet boys are safely tucked into bed and they've played their hearts out today and have given me goodnight kisses they are off to dreamland. I look at my boys now and see how much they've grown I see everything they've ever been. I see how tiny and defenseless they were as babies. I see them taking those first breathtaking steps. I see how they used to toddle forward a few steps and then stumble to the ground sometimes laughing and sometimes frustrated but always cute! I see their toothless little grins I hear those first adorable giggles that quickly turned into infectious laughter. I smile as I remember the first time Big M had carrots and that cute little scrunched up face he made. I whisper a grateful prayer when I think of the moment I watched my Little M be wheeled out of the hospital room and into our then unknown future.  I look at these growing children and I see MY boys; all that they are, all they have become, and all that they will be... My little MnMs are growing and learning more every single day. They are getting so big! They are the biggest little blessings in my entire life! God has blessed my life with two amazing little boys! I'm so thankful that He chose me to be their mama! I love my little MnMs with my whole heart and they truly are the light of my life! 

 I love my boys and I can't believe how fast they are growing up. I really just can't believe that they are so big?!  My babies are now toddlers and soon they will be young men... Time just flies doesn't it? Well for this time that I have been given with my boys we will run, and jump, and play. I will hold them close in my arms until I can't anymore I will hug them while I can and love them forever and always!! 

  I hope y'all have had a fantastic Friday and that your weekend will be even more fantastic! I hope that you treasure your precious littles and rejoice throughout every season of their lives we only have toddlers for a brief time So let's choose to delight in their art (even when it's on the walls) let's be grateful when we have kiddos that want to be near us always (even when they sit on the other side of the bathroom door while we are using the restroom) Let's just choose to rejoice and whisper a thankful prayer for our beautiful blessings even when they are messy and loud and we feel like we might tear our hair out .... Hug them now because they will only be little for a time! 

 Outfit of the day... 

just shorts and a white t shirt for me today...

Sending you late Friday hugs and wishing you a wonderful weekend... wishing you smiles and sweet dreams ...Shannon :)

 

From bare feet to iPads

A jovial Thursday to you all! Ashley here, comin' at ya from work again. Sorry this is coming to you so late! Yeah... I've been working some weird schedules this week, and let me tell you, it has been rough on all of us at home. My poor little man was incredibly grumpy about his teeth today and I just felt so bad for him! He is NOT a fussy baby, so to have him full blown screaming was pretty upsetting as well as frustrating. But now he's watching some hockey with daddy, so it sounds like he's doing better.

Moving on...

I've been thinking a lot lately about what my son will grow up with. And for that matter, what I didn't grow up with. I'm a 90's kid. I was born in '88, so I was raised in the 90's. And I think they were awesome! Perhaps the fashion world had seen better times than they did in the 90's, but still... I enjoyed myself. :) But technology... It seems like things were fairly stagnant and then all of a sudden BOOM! It took off! I don't really remember a time that my family didn't have a computer. But I do remember taking computer and typing class in the library at school. I wonder... Do kids even need to take computer class or typing class anymore? Do they even have those classes in schools? Nineties kids, I know you remember The Oregon Trail. For those of you who don't, this was the computer game that we played to learn typing. It was a very basic game. I also remember playing on my family's computer at home. The best game ever was Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego?! I loved it! It was very much the black screen, green letters when you type game. From there, I remember when my family got Internet. It must have been 1998. Now, I got to play games online!!! I thought having the Internet was the coolest thing ever! I remember the first time I opened the Internet browser... I felt like a rich kid! Something in my 10-year-old head told me that only rich people had the Internet! Haha! But I remember that my favorite game to play on the computer, was this Tarzan game that was advertised on the Disney channel. Then instant messaging became more popular and effective than emailing, and I remember wasting HOURS through high school IMing my friends - what we had to talk about that was so important and couldn't wait for school the next day, I have no idea, but I would click away for hour after hour. Now we can get the Internet just about whenever and wherever we want to! That was fast! And still, technology morphs and grows daily. It's weird to think that my son will never know a world without the Internet.

And let's talk about gaming... I grew up with my parents' original Nintendo system. I loved playing Mario and could FLY through the first few levels with my eyes closed. Then there was Excite Bike and Duck Hunt... Anyone remember these games? Well... The next game system we had was a Sega Saturn. They must not have lasted very long, because people don't seem to even remember that this system even existed in time. We didn't have it for long, but the next system we got was the Nintendo 64. We got it for Christmas 1999. I remember, because I also got an inflatable chair for my room that Christmas as well! It was silver and oh, so cool and "futuristic". Think "Xenon" and "Xenon the Xequel" on Disney channel. You know you remember those movies! Don't even pretend like you don't. Anyway... Back on games. This was the last game system my family purchased while I was growing up. I mean, in a family full of women, gaming wasn't a priority. You know what? I lied. For Christmas, years later, we got my Mom the Miss Pacman plug 'n' play. THAT was fun! We got to get our butts kicked by our parents, playing the games THEY grew up with! Anywho... I did really enjoy the Nintendo 64 for a while. A friend who lived across the street had a lot more games than I did, so sometimes, we wasted weekends, having sleepovers and playing Zelda and Gauntlet. Oh... Did I not mention that I'm a bit of a nerd? Well, now you know. At one point in time I remember owning a portable Aladdin game, as well as a Gameboy. But I don't remember when, or where they came from. Now, my husband and I own an Xbox 360 with Kinect, a Playstation 3, a GameCube, a Nintendo 64, a regular Xbox, a regular Playstation, and my dad loaned us the Nintendo that I grew up with! It's a lot of gaming systems, I know. But in each one, there is a history. A history of technology and graphics, and a history of each of our childhoods. Watching MH play video games now is sometimes more entertaining than a movie. These games have graphics that I call "more realistic than real life" and plots that are more complex and involved than most movies. It's crazy to think about where games will go from here and to imagine what video games baby C might be playing when he's my age.

Let's reminisce on communication. As far as cell phones go, I will admit that I was a little late in the game by the time I got to college, but I never saw a huge need for one before then. Sure, I wanted one, but I didn't really need one. Growing up with four women in my house, phone time was precious and shared. Having call waiting was both a blessing and a curse, because I could find out if a friend called while my sister was on the phone, but I didn't want to take my mom's calls while I was talking to one of MY friends! Ugh! Being 12 was so awful! Haha! Then cell phones appeared and I remember my mom had one of the flip phones with the long antennas. We never had the gigantic ones, circa "My Best Friend's Wedding", but she had the one after that... Where it flipped down and the keys turned green when you pushed them. She then had a flatter "sleeker" phone a few years later, but it was also terribly primitive in the span of cell phone technology. Our family went through Nokia bricks (which was actually my first phone that I dropped in a water ride at Elitches in high school), flip phones, phones with riveting games such as Tetris on them, all the way to texting phones (remember when certain phones didn't even have texting capabilities?), and touch screens. Then I got my OWN cell phone after I graduated high school(thanks to my older sister D and her husband S who added me to their plan so I could take it to college!). The first smart phone I had was a blackberry and I vowed that I would never have a touch screen phone! But here I am today, after going through 3 blackberries, an Android and a Samsung Galaxy, with an iPhone AND an iPad, and I hardly remember the days of typing on a qwerty board.

Are you all catching what I'm talking about here? Things are changing. This world is changing. And fast. Before all of these inconvenient conveniences existed, life was lived in slow motion. I played outside with bare feet, running around with the neighborhood kids, inventing games and exploring the creek behind our house. I want to share THIS part of my life with baby C. I want him to have his best memories come from playing outside. Sure, technology is a HUGE part of my life. MH is a technophile and I'll admit that being able to check Facebook on my phone feeds my need for constant contact with people; getting my work email at all hours of the day is terribly convenient. BUT... When my parents came home from work when I was little, they were home. They didn't continue to talk to co-workers or employers. No one could get in touch with them 24/7. And that meant that we had all of their attention. That's what I want with C. But when will he ask for a cell phone? When will he want a Facebook account? (Facebook used to only allow college students, and it launched the year before I started college.) I constantly wonder if I know how to raise a child in a technologically drenched world. On one hand, I want to share with him all of the wonderful things that can come from a life with limited technology and create memories not interrupted by these virtual things. On the other hand, I also want to share with C, the "tech-y" things that I was raised with. I want him to watch cartoons before they were digitally animated; I want him to play video games that are "primitive"; I want him to write letters to family members and enjoy talking to people before his thumbs are attached to a phone, as he texts. And even still... I want him to enjoy and appreciate technology as it continues to grow. It's something that his father is truly passionate about and therefore a very important part of our lives, but I can only hope to find a good balance.

What do you hope to share with your little ones from your childhood? What are things you miss about being an "unplugged" society? If you have older kids, how have you addressed this issue of a technologically drenched world?

Thanks for letting me reminisce tonight! Sorry if this is all over the place!

Here is my OOTD:
Yes, I'm in the bathroom at work again! Lol

Anyway... Love and zebra hugs to you all! And I send you wishes for a wonderful Friday!

To sleep together, or not to sleep together...

Hey all! Happy hump day! Kailly here!  Just think, Friday is right around the corner! Though, being a mom we don't get weekends off, but my husband does and I appreciate the extra help!

I figured I would chat about a touchy subject today, co sleeping.

My husband and I cosleep with our princess. It wasn't planned, actually I always said I would never co sleep. So, I bet you are asking what changed my mind. Well, when we brought N home from the hospital, she had her little sleeper right next to our bed. It is a little bassinet type thing, that was attached to a pack and play. I figured we would keep her with us the first couple of months by our bed, and then transition her to her crib. Yeah... no. Definitely hasn't happened that way. At first, N would go to sleep her in bed, and wake up to breastfeed. Then, I'd put her back in her bed until she nursed again. All seemed okay for a while. Then, one night, I woke up to her with vomit on her face. She threw up. Thank God, she didn't choke on it. From then on, I started noticing she would vomit anytime she slept on her back. Her pediatrician gave me some ideas, but none of them were helping. I started having her sleep with me more and more often. Then, we got a rock and play sleeper by fisher price. That thing is heaven sent. It worked so much better. But, N preferred sleeping with us. She sleeps great with us, compared to constantly waking up in her rock n play.

Now, let me be honest with you all. This has been a vulnerable few posts for me! My beautiful niece, T, passed away when she was almost five months old. She didn't die from SIDS, but that was my fear. The first few months of N's life, I lived in fear. I didn't want people holding her, afraid that they would angle her wrong and she would suffocate. And, when I saw a family member hold her and she literally changed colors in front of my eyes when she was a month old, I panicked. I hated others having her. I loved to sleep with her, so I could easily open my eyes and check on her. I was, and honestly still am, afraid of losing her. Now, I don't worry anywhere near like I used to. I've worked through my fears a lot, leaps and bounds from where it used to be.

So, why do I still sleep with N? Many reasons...

1. She still has reflux issues. It isn't bad enough that her dr will prescribe meds, and I am grateful she doesn't need to be on any medication. But, she still is so uncomfortable on her back, she arches and cries.

2. I do not believe in crying it out. N hates being in a room alone. She cries so hard, it is heartbreaking. I don't want her alone in her crib crying. I don't like being left alone when I am upset, so why would I do it to my daughter? Babies need comfort, love, human touch, skin to skin contact, not a hard mattress in a dark room.
             ~ As a side bar... I completely respect every parents decision to parent as they would like. We are all different and allowed to parent as we choose! My best friend allows her daughter to cry it out. I think she is the best mom I have met and her daughter is completely happy and healthy! Sometimes, I feel I may be the problem here. I am not strong enough to let her cry.. And I am okay with that.

3. The United States is one of the only countries that doesn't automatically cosleep and finds it controversial. Most countries that automatically cosleep have the lowest rates of SIDS or infant death.

4.I love to snuggle my little girl. I love that she snuggles up to me and plays with my hair as she falls asleep. And, I love waking up to her first thing every morning. Some days, she is gentle and rubs my face, other days she is picking my nose and shoving her fingers in my mouth! haha. Love that :-)

5. Co-sleeping is completely safe, as long as you are smart about it! Don't go to bed with drugs or alcohol in your system. If you tend to roll a lot, put a co sleep attachment on the side of your bed or in it. A lot of people even bring their babies crib in and take a side off of it, bringing the other side up to the mattress. No soft mattresses, or pillows. And, not a ton of blankets. I am such a light sleeper, I wake up often and easily.


Now... we are starting to transition N to her own crib. She is 9 months old, and we don't want her sleeping with us when she is 3! But, we are taking it at our own pace. Let me tell you, during the day N sleeps just fine alone in her swing, and sometimes her pack n play. At night, not yet. So, we are starting our transition. We have an age that we want her sleeping alone by.

Believe me, co sleeping hasn't been accepted well by some of our family and friends, but overall we have a gorgeous, healthy, happy little girl that is advanced in almost every developmental area. I make sure she is always comfortable when she sleeps, no matter where she is sleeping. And, we do what works best for our family. I don't hope everyone in the world cosleeps, because it isn't best for every family. Just wanted to share a little piece of our parenting!

Now, here is my outfit of the day! I forgot to post a photo with my last blog, so I made sure to remember today! N and I had a playdate at the park today! Have a wonderful day all!

Love always,
Kailly

I love Tuesday - Birthday Edition

  Hey y'all Shannon here! How are you today? It's my turn to bloggy blog for y'all so first let me say... CONGRATULATIONS Miss TIFFANY K. our lovely reader who won the random drawing giveaway!! :) Thank you all for joining us in the fun :) I know I speak for all of us on the mommy Just ASK team when I say we appreciate each of you wonderful, lovely readers!! :) We love reading your comments, e mails, and all of your feedback and stories so keep them comin' ... bottom line we love y'all!! :)

 OK, friends if you don't already know .... It is in fact my birthday today :) I was greeted with big kisses this morning from my hubs and the littles too! but I got to thinkin' I am now a quarter of a century old!? I typically don't care much about my age but for some reason 25 is proving to be a bit harder to swallow ... I even tried to convince my sweet mama that I was in fact 24 not 25... but she gave birth to me she was there and sweetly reminded me that I turned 24 last year. :) ...So 25 ... Umm while I'm still not 100% sure how I feel about this yet... I want to look back a little over the years and share what my quarter of a century has been like this could be fun... and random... and super all over the place are we ready?? Here we go... 
 
 Shannon Naomi was born in California. I've lived in California (obviously), Canada, Montana, Colorado, Louisiana, and now Texas! I attended a small little school called ASA Wood Elementary in Montana the first birthday that I can remember was probably my fifth, sixth, or seventh birthday (I don't have a real great memory) and I remember my parents took me and some friends bowling there was pizza and root beer. I can't remember much else from that birthday but I do remember it was fun knowing that my family thought of me and spoiled me rotten! Then I remember how my mama established a tradition, from that birthday on, the birthday girl (or boy as I have two brothers) could pick a special birthday dinner and have whatever type of cake or dessert treat we wanted... I just love my mama she is just tops! 

I don't remember every single birthday I've ever had but the next one that kinda sticks out is either fourth or fifth grade ... I don't remember how old I turned or who all was there but we had recently moved to Colorado and I was still kind of the "new girl" and I shyly invited about 5 or 6 of the friends I had just made to my birthday. My folks once again spoiled me and took us all to a chinese food restaurant and then we all went go kart racing. I remember it was a blast and I was thankful for those friends that came and celebrated with me even though I was that "weird new girl" :) Fast forward a bit ... I remember my mama made me crab legs for my birthday dinner for my twelfth birthday and I had decided that I was more sophisticated than chocolate cake and chocolate frosting with sprinkles so I requested a lemon cake with vanilla frosting... oh the thoughts of a preteens mind... :) My next few birthdays are kind of fuzzy but I know somewhere in there I went to my first concert with my mama and a good friend (Rebecca St. James and I actually bumped into each other in the ladies room it was cool) and then one of my birthdays I think my thirteenth my awesome dad took me and my good friend Amy to Joe's crab shack for dinner and then to the World Arena to see The Little Mermaid on Ice! And you know I felt pretty special for that!! Highlights of that evening were my dad singing along with Sebastian (with a full on faux Jamaican accent, mon!) and watching my best good friend attempt to shuck her first raw oyster... sorry Amy but 'That's the Way It Is' or the way it went, you know who you are and you know that I love you!! :)For the record I love me some seafood, always have, and had been downing raw oysters for quite some time prior to that particular birthday. ;)

 I started highschool shortly thereafter and met my wonderful husband the very first day of my freshman year when I walked into Mr. Cox's painting 101 class, tardy, on my first day... which of course mortified me and I then blamed on my mother but now realize that she had a kiddo in each level of school at the time... elementary, middle and highschool so it's a miracle we were ever on time!? I love you mama and I just don't know how you did it??! Mad props to mi madre! ;) Anyhow where was I, oh yes, meeting my husband in art class.... Well that was a memorable day because people typically say oh it was like love at first sight... not quite the case with me and mine ;) From the moment I sat down next to that fella (as he was polite at first and offered me a chair next to him... so I could quickly escape Mr. Cox's wrath while he scolded me for being late on my first day and was informed that I needed to find a seat.) but from the second I sat down that boy just teased and picked and teased some more... Anything and everything he could possibly make fun of he did... my sneeze, my laugh, my walk, my jeans... and when we were given our assignment to sketch (not trace)  a photograph we found in one the national geographic magazines I was dutifully sketching my wiggly version of a bunch of violets next to a pond and he very irritatingly and much too loudly inquired, "Is that a cow?" I informed him that my picture was in fact "this!" as I angrily shoved the magazine photo across the table to him... Finally after what seemed an eternity to my freshman brain painting 101 ended and the bell to change classes sounded I quickly gathered my belongings and hurried to find my next class and that guy I met kept buggin' me anytime he saw me in the hallways or at my locker and it seemed he just sought me out whenever he could just to mess with me. When my day ended and my mama picked me up I was so frustrated with "this dumb boy I met in art class" I was in tears as I recapped my day and the "is that a cow" comment... my mama curled my hair behind my ear and said, "Honey, someday you'll probably marry that dumb boy" WOW.... when they say mama knows best... right?! Because here after almost 11 years after we met we are back together, happily married with two kiddos and maybe thinkin' about more ;) 

  Anyhow back to the ghost of birthdays past ... My sixteenth birthday was memorable because I had a track meet (I did the hurdles, shot put, and sometimes the mile... none of which I did well haha) Hubs was on the track team and by this time we had put our first impressions aside and were smitten with each other and had been dating for awhile so he surprised me with a dainty crystal cross necklace as my birthday present ...my mama couldn't make my favorite dinner because the meet was somewhere in rural town colorado and the bus ride home lasted well into the wee hours of the next morning (but she did make me "after birthday breakfast" complete with candles the very next morning ;)) but back to the track meet I remember sitting with Hubs on the bus ride there and I remember that I tripped over a hurdle and finished dead last and I remember my coach let me get out of running the mile... thanks coach!  :) and I remember eating at wendys afterward because "you can eat great even late" ;) Hubs bought my cup of chili and a baked potato and we shared a frosty. We rode home on the bus together, I slept, and then my mama picked me up and wished me happy birthday and when I got home I showered and got into bed because it was already tomorrow....

Me and Hubs at our prom together.

  Zip through highschool .... choir, drama class... writing plays with my dad, english (loved to kill a mockingbird! go atticus finch! I'd still like to have a yellow canary named atticus finch in his honor... anyway) ... trip to China with my choir teacher Ms. Kafka (still probably the most amazing opportunity I've ever had in my life!) homecoming dances and little black dresses, going to hubs football games, more track, being an office aide and doing the morning announcements over the intercom (with funny accents of course!), spanish class (not so bueno) ... playing basketball, wanting to take weights class but never did... Algebra (no comment), STARS (students taking a right stand) movie dates with hubbers and sonic slushies with extra strawberries! welcomed newest little brother to the world. Prom.  watching hubby graduate and being a senior after he left for college ... transferring schools ... making new friends and laughing hysterically in drama class... staying over at friends house and drinking a TON of french press coffee... playing barista with my good friend...  writing monologues and performing a lot ... more basketball...  singing java jive at starbucks  ... and graduating! whew! 

 Moving on... get scholarship and go to college meet sweet first roommate, she moves off campus, meet not so sweet roommate, get freaked out hide in closet call 911 because said not nice roomie had given her key to a large intimidating male visitor so he could wait for her in the room while I was unaware of such visitor and happened to be getting out of the shower wrapped in a towel... (long story funny now but mildly terrifying then) loved choir, met sweet wonderful Ashley who gave me a place to stay and became my instant best friend for life. met my birthday twin Happy Birthday Jacqs! :) performed so many beautiful pieces of music, struggled in math and theory classes, met crazy awesome people, drank entirely too much (sad but true) and big time learned from it! Moved off campus into the house with the "girls next door" and got engaged over the summer (hubs proposed while he was in Iraq over the phone I love our unique love story! :) came back to school and had the world's silliest, craziest bachelorette party from my girls I love you all and someday I will return the favor muhaha! :) More rehearsals and performances got married over fall break 
 
(we had our small ceremony in my parents living room in front of the fireplace and a few witnesses and I wore a polkadot summer dress and it was perfect!), went back to school found out I was pregnant when we had a miscarriage ... hubs deployed to Iraq, Ashley and I had our car accident driving home for Christmas break. I spent about 2 weeks in the hospital with a broken arm and a severe concussion and spent lots more time recovering in my parents living room. (I was super drugged on percocet so I don't remember much of the recovery time honestly)...
 

 Flew to Kansas for Christmas to see Hubber's side of the family and I will always be forever grateful for how sweet and loving they welcomed me into their family! Love y'all! Went back to school had an epic 20th birthday roadtrip to california with Ashley and one of our other awesome friends! layin' out on the beach in bikinis. good times! we went to disneyland for my birthday and visited my Gma and Gpa... went back to school was completely overwhelmed with how much I had missed while recovering from the accident and felt in my heart that as a newly married woman I needed to leave college... left school...  spent hubs midtour leave in Alaska 

Us passed out early early am after we picked him up at the airport...

Us goofing off at clearwater creek

We got pregnant with our first baby boy (Big M)  ;) didn't find out til hubs had gotten back to Iraq (of course that's just how it works) sent him the most exciting email that said "hey Daddio!" ;) spent more time with hubs family in Alaska... went back to my folks house and baby shopped a TON with my mama and drove her crazy with my mood swings and obscure cravings ...  big M's ultrasound and mama went with me. I didn't want to know boy or girl without hubs being there so I closed my eyes and waited we got a sonogram picture announcing the gender and then found out via skype together that evening... IT'S A BOY!! :) hubs got home from Iraq and we moved down to Louisiana and had our first baby!!! 

first family picture with big M

Learned together how to be husband and wife AND mommy and daddy had our second very early in the pregnancy miscarriage. Bought our first home together and a few short months later found out we were having little M!?! Hubs went away for more months of pre deployment training (hi diddle dee an army wife is me...) Found an amazing church family and fellowshipped and worshipped our faces off (THAT'S GOOD STUFF) and both of us got baptized there :) such a wonderful time of growth ... we adopted Snickers our little daschund puppy. Had our second baby, little M, prayed him through the NICU for a week and brought home our second son! 

Me and my little M

5 months later hubs deployed to Afghanistan. So I loaded up the car and  took the littles and Snickers up to stay with grandma and grandpa for a bit we stayed with my folks and tried to distract ourselves while daddy was overseas...  hubs came home for midtour leave and bought a jeep (I still use the phrase for better or for used jeeps just to tease my sweet hubbers.. haha) mid tour leave was coming to a close so we  drove back down to Louisiana together. hubs went back to Afghanistan. 

     I learned to deal with lots of chaos trying to adjust to raising two little boys both under the age of 2 on my own for a while...

The littles while daddy was deployed :)

stayed with a great army wife friend (love you Melissa!!) We took a road trip to sea world with her and her boys so much fun!... great army wife friend moves away... feel like it's the icing on the cake and that the world is falling apart around me ... an ugly incident happens false accusations were made ... lots of tears. lots of prayer. lots of phone calls to my mama and to many good friends! (Ashley actually came down and visited me and we took a road trip to Galveston :) Hubs gets home a few months later we celebrated a very happy homecoming! 

happy homecoming pic!

 we start packing up for the big move to Texas ... I get glasses and find out I should have had them all along ha! so we keep packing and then we leave behind our church family, friends, and our first home ... move to Texas ... have a pretty rough time adjusting to so much change and new living arrangements as we tried to have my M.I.L. (mom-in-law) stay with us and all I will say is that that just did. not. work!  ...  Hubs gets promoted...  Hubs goes off to school ... our lease ends and we have to move to a different neighborhood ... so I start packing an entire house with two toddlers and a small dog with a few good allies :) ...again lots of tears and prayer... and TONS of frustration. Finally getting it all packed up in storage and driving home with an overpacked car ... mommy panic attack... doggie panic attack... long drive... safe at grandma and grandpas house ... spend time with family breathe easy after all the chaos... reconnect with old friends, and see besties! :) (I love you Ashley and Kailly!) Hubs comes back from school finds us a new place and starts the move-in... I drive back with the kiddos we continue the unpacking process... keep raising toddlers had a messy cheeto incident and we've restarted potty training...  and now here we are I'm sitting at my kitchen table drinking coffee and reminiscing... and it's my birthday!! WHEW!!! That was a mouthful... but then again that was basically the last 24 years of my life! (Did anybody else get motion sick that was a lot really fast time travel haha:)

 But looking over the past quarter century of my life I  realize how full my years have been and will continue to be I've seen happyness, and pain, I have had beautiful babies and lost some dear people in my life ... I couldn't possibly write down every memory I've ever had but this is just a glimpse into my extremely full and abundantly blessed life  I don't know where life will take me after this birthday but I do know that I'm ready for it! I love being me and I can't describe how grateful I am for all of the amazing opportunities I've had, all the fascinating places I've been able to go, and especially all of the beautiful absolutely incredible people in my life!! I'm so thankful for my life and for the love that I have been blessed with!! I love my two kiddos, my little MnMs more than life itself and I married my best friend so I have the worlds best husband! I have learned so much in my life and I can't wait to see what's next so alright y'all I may have been hesitant at first but officially...

.......

.....

I'M 25!!!! 

Birthday outfit of the day :)

I've been so many places and seen so many new things I am blessed beyond belief and so very loved I just radiate with joy and happiness! I love all of the people in my life I have learned so much from all of you and have been truly blessed to love you and have each of you in my life! I'm excited to make even more amazing memories with my family and friends! I'm ready for the years to come and all the trials and joys in store through the rest of my life... and I just can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!! 

 Tonight, my mama doesn't get to make me a special birthday supper (I wish haha) and my daddy hasn't planned some elaborate birthday outing this year :) I will be eating gluten free cake instead of lemon pound or chocolate or ice cream cake... but I'm just as happy as ever and even though it makes me nervous to think that I'm a quarter of a century old?! haha ;) I'm absolutely thrilled that it's my birthday AND I'm going to celebrate the previous years that God has given me and be grateful today and everyday as I count my many blessings and see what God has done and... count my many blessings count them one by one...

  

This is the way my birthday mornin' started silly faces and a glasses thief :) Love my MnMs! :)

 

 

 Huge Happy Birthday hugs and some polkadot mommy love from my all growed up 25 year old self to you... love y'all... Shannon:)

And the winner is....

Alright folks, we have a winner of our 1500 views random drawing!

And the winner is....





Miss Tiffany K!

Please contact Ashley, Shannon or Kailly to claim your prize, dear girl and congratulations!

In Confidence, Find Love

Happy Monday, everyone! Ashley here, writing to you on my iPad while at work, so I hope there aren't TOO many typos! Did everyone "spring forward" this weekend!? How are you enjoying that? Yeah... Me neither. Hehe! Baby C was terribly confused last night as to why he was in bed at 6:00! "Ummm... That was just a nap, mom! What's wrong with you!?" That's what I got from his crying. Also... "WHY DOES MY MOUTH HURT!? WHAT'S HAPPENING!?" Yep... My baby boy, who turns 3 months old tomorrow, is teething! I can see his two little bottom teeth poking and they are definitely going up and down. I feel so bad for him, because he can't even hold a teether in his mouth by himself. So he gets terribly distressed by it. Ugh... He's just too young! Doesn't he know that!? Such is life though! It's messy, stressful, chaotic and beautiful! Which leads me to a quote that I would like to share with you...

"Children running around mean you always have someone to share your love with; slamming doors and messy floors mean you have a home that is well lived in. A tired husband means you have someone to work and provide for your family; and a messy kitchen and dirty dishes mean you have food to provide for your family. Every little thing is a blessing in its own way."

Life is beautiful. Life is one change after another. And I'm one of those people who is incredibly resistant to change. Really... I hate it. I even get mad at close friends and family for a minute when they change something in their lives ; I want everything to stay the same. But I'm not staying the same. I'm constantly changing and growing. But even still... I've been a largely insecure person for a very long time.
Oh... Guess what!? I'm officially two pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight! I'm pretty excited, but I can't take all the credit and say that I worked SO hard, because (and some of you will probably hate me for saying this) I am one of those lucky ones with the fast metabolism, who tends to drop weight quickly. Honestly, though... I couldn't care less. You see, one thing that pregnancy did for me, was teach me. Pregnancy taught me to appreciate and love my body; have faith in my body and believe in the strength of what my body was made to do. Before pregnancy, I was constantly insecure, and battled in my mind over loving my body and what it looked like. But having a high risk pregnancy helped me to understand a whole new level of sacrifice. I was willing to do absolutely anything to ensure that my little boy was born healthy and happy. I didn't care if I got stretch marks, which I did; I didn't care if I had wider hips afterward, which I do; and I didn't care if I carried extra weight for a while afterwards. So, hitting below my pre-pregnancy weight, while exciting, was not something I actually cared about. Although I'm not terribly surprised... I hardly stop moving all day, between my job and being with baby C at home in the afternoons! Still... This certainly wasn't a priority for me at all! You see, I also learned confidence through my pregnancy as well as through labor and delivery. Everyone approaches their experience differently, but MH and I took Bradley classes. (A natural delivery method class.) Even though I ended up being induced and getting an epidural after 52 hours of labor (he was born 2 hours after that), I was, and still am, in awe of the incredible strength of my body! Not trying to brag or say that I'm especially incredible in any way... A woman's body is amazing, and truly meant for this. But I absolutely enjoyed every minute of my labor and delivery experience! Taking the classes that I did, taught me to be confident that my body knew what it needed to do. Yes, I was induced... So my body just needed some help getting kick started. So what's wrong with that, right? It happens! But I learned to give in and let it all happen. It was amazing. The intensity of it all was truly incredible. (I know... I keep saying that... Haha.) Anyway, this confidence, spilled over into my life of motherhood. Do I get stressed? Absolutely. Do I sometimes wonder if I'm doing a good job? Most definitely. But overall, I'm confident in the decisions that I have made and continue to make regarding baby C.

Reaching beyond motherhood, I have gained a strong confidence in myself as a wife, employee, and woman. I know who I am; I know what kind of person I am and what kind of person I want to be. Now don't think I'm some sort of android, immune to human feelings of insecurity and emotions accompanied by mommyhood. That's not true at all. I get those thoughts and feeling as much as anyone else. But I have found what works for me in the way of chasing all of that away! I remind myself that I am the best mommy for C; I am the best wife for MH; I am a valued and appreciated employee. I may not the be exact same girl I used to be, but I like to think that I'm just a prouder, happier, more confident version of her. :) And I have fallen in love... In love with my husband, in love with my little boy, and in love with myself. Yeah... I think I kind of rock. Haha!

Alright, folks! I hope that wasn't too random and that my thoughts weren't all over the place! It's a busy night at work tonight, so I've been kind of back and forth for a few hours. But in any case, I hope you remember to love yourself, love your family and love your life.

Here's my OOTD:


Yes I'm in a bathroom... At work. Lol

It isn't always rainbows and lollipops!

Someone told me the other day, that I was a "perfect" mom. I love hearing that, we all do as mommies, but as time has gone by, I feel I have to tell the truth and just be honest. I'm not perfect. No where near it, and I am completely okay with that.

My mom wasn't really all there as I grew up. She made choices that I can't even imagine doing. So, I have always wanted to be perfect. I've dreamt of being a mom since I was a little girl. I thought of everything I had gone through, and what I knew I would never do as a Mom. I spent days thinking of a little girl, hair bows, tutus, the whole kits and kaboodles. Did I say that right? My husband will tell you, I put my everything into being the world's best Mom! I think that is what so many people see, and I am SO grateful for that. I love being a Mom. I love having my mini me with me all day, every day. But, not every day is perfect!

What is perfect? And, what is a perfect Mom? Someone that never makes mistakes? That definitely isn't me. There have been times that I have bawled my eyes out wondering if God blessed me with my gorgeous girl too early in life. There have been times, that I have put her in a beautiful dress, and pinched her on accident as I was buttoning the back of it. There have been times that I have complained about getting up at three am to pump when my beautiful family is sleeping. Let's face it, when even our husky, Lylla, is sleeping, I don't want to be the only one awake!

 I am not the perfect mom that gets ready every day. Most days, I try to smack a little makeup on my face, to feel good. I either wear my hair down, up in a pony, a bun or in a messy braid. I love the days that I have time to get all dolled up. I love to wear heels and feel beautiful. But, in reality, most days I am in pajamas or sweats. And, if I get a chance to, I will toss on jeans, a top, and slippers. Yep, slippers. Those are my accessories as of late!

I love my daughter more than ANYTHING in this world. I wouldn't change her at all. And I thank God every single day for her. She is the light of my life, and the reason I live. She gives a new definition to living. I never felt like I truly lived until the day I found out I was pregnant. And, pregnancy was so hard on me. I puked my guts out all the way until she was born. I'm telling you, I bowed down to the porcelain god more times than I would ever like to count. But, when it was for her, nothing else mattered. She was so special to me. She IS so special to me. Just now, she started to reach for me, so I put the laptop down and picked her up. She nuzzled her face into my neck and we danced and sang around the room. She giggled as tears of joy fell down my face. These are the moments I live for.

I may not be a perfect Mom. No one is. But, I am a Mom that loves her little girl more than anything. I love getting up with her at night when she randomly decides it's morning, even though the sun is still down, and there are no birds chirping. I love when she fake coughs, because she knows I will check on her, even though I know it is fake. And, I love the five minutes afterwards that we fake cough back and forth at eachother, all the while smiling ear to ear and giggling. I love that she knows I am her Mommy. And to N, my beautiful, smart, almost 9 month old, I am perfect. And, nothing else matters.

Love always,
Kailly