Monday, March 11, 2013

In Confidence, Find Love

Happy Monday, everyone! Ashley here, writing to you on my iPad while at work, so I hope there aren't TOO many typos! Did everyone "spring forward" this weekend!? How are you enjoying that? Yeah... Me neither. Hehe! Baby C was terribly confused last night as to why he was in bed at 6:00! "Ummm... That was just a nap, mom! What's wrong with you!?" That's what I got from his crying. Also... "WHY DOES MY MOUTH HURT!? WHAT'S HAPPENING!?" Yep... My baby boy, who turns 3 months old tomorrow, is teething! I can see his two little bottom teeth poking and they are definitely going up and down. I feel so bad for him, because he can't even hold a teether in his mouth by himself. So he gets terribly distressed by it. Ugh... He's just too young! Doesn't he know that!? Such is life though! It's messy, stressful, chaotic and beautiful! Which leads me to a quote that I would like to share with you...

"Children running around mean you always have someone to share your love with; slamming doors and messy floors mean you have a home that is well lived in. A tired husband means you have someone to work and provide for your family; and a messy kitchen and dirty dishes mean you have food to provide for your family. Every little thing is a blessing in its own way."

Life is beautiful. Life is one change after another. And I'm one of those people who is incredibly resistant to change. Really... I hate it. I even get mad at close friends and family for a minute when they change something in their lives ; I want everything to stay the same. But I'm not staying the same. I'm constantly changing and growing. But even still... I've been a largely insecure person for a very long time.
Oh... Guess what!? I'm officially two pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight! I'm pretty excited, but I can't take all the credit and say that I worked SO hard, because (and some of you will probably hate me for saying this) I am one of those lucky ones with the fast metabolism, who tends to drop weight quickly. Honestly, though... I couldn't care less. You see, one thing that pregnancy did for me, was teach me. Pregnancy taught me to appreciate and love my body; have faith in my body and believe in the strength of what my body was made to do. Before pregnancy, I was constantly insecure, and battled in my mind over loving my body and what it looked like. But having a high risk pregnancy helped me to understand a whole new level of sacrifice. I was willing to do absolutely anything to ensure that my little boy was born healthy and happy. I didn't care if I got stretch marks, which I did; I didn't care if I had wider hips afterward, which I do; and I didn't care if I carried extra weight for a while afterwards. So, hitting below my pre-pregnancy weight, while exciting, was not something I actually cared about. Although I'm not terribly surprised... I hardly stop moving all day, between my job and being with baby C at home in the afternoons! Still... This certainly wasn't a priority for me at all! You see, I also learned confidence through my pregnancy as well as through labor and delivery. Everyone approaches their experience differently, but MH and I took Bradley classes. (A natural delivery method class.) Even though I ended up being induced and getting an epidural after 52 hours of labor (he was born 2 hours after that), I was, and still am, in awe of the incredible strength of my body! Not trying to brag or say that I'm especially incredible in any way... A woman's body is amazing, and truly meant for this. But I absolutely enjoyed every minute of my labor and delivery experience! Taking the classes that I did, taught me to be confident that my body knew what it needed to do. Yes, I was induced... So my body just needed some help getting kick started. So what's wrong with that, right? It happens! But I learned to give in and let it all happen. It was amazing. The intensity of it all was truly incredible. (I know... I keep saying that... Haha.) Anyway, this confidence, spilled over into my life of motherhood. Do I get stressed? Absolutely. Do I sometimes wonder if I'm doing a good job? Most definitely. But overall, I'm confident in the decisions that I have made and continue to make regarding baby C.

Reaching beyond motherhood, I have gained a strong confidence in myself as a wife, employee, and woman. I know who I am; I know what kind of person I am and what kind of person I want to be. Now don't think I'm some sort of android, immune to human feelings of insecurity and emotions accompanied by mommyhood. That's not true at all. I get those thoughts and feeling as much as anyone else. But I have found what works for me in the way of chasing all of that away! I remind myself that I am the best mommy for C; I am the best wife for MH; I am a valued and appreciated employee. I may not the be exact same girl I used to be, but I like to think that I'm just a prouder, happier, more confident version of her. :) And I have fallen in love... In love with my husband, in love with my little boy, and in love with myself. Yeah... I think I kind of rock. Haha!

Alright, folks! I hope that wasn't too random and that my thoughts weren't all over the place! It's a busy night at work tonight, so I've been kind of back and forth for a few hours. But in any case, I hope you remember to love yourself, love your family and love your life.

Here's my OOTD:

Yes I'm in a bathroom... At work. Lol


  1. Amen, Ashley. :) I agree completely about how pregnancy has changed our perspective on our bodies. Some for better, and some for worse. Fortunately, in my case; I'm like you, and all of my pregnancy weight has melted off, and I have kept some extra 10 pounds on (for my recovery, it is a good thing to keep that and I do need it!), and I actually prefer this body over what I had pre-pregnancy. I'm always in an awe of my son. :)

    Love your sweater!

    1. Thanks, Ashley! I am so glad to hear that you have found that same confidence and perspective that I have! This view of myself and the world is so much more beautiful than the one that I was blinding myself with before! :)