Wednesday, March 13, 2013

To sleep together, or not to sleep together...

Hey all! Happy hump day! Kailly here!  Just think, Friday is right around the corner! Though, being a mom we don't get weekends off, but my husband does and I appreciate the extra help!

I figured I would chat about a touchy subject today, co sleeping.

My husband and I cosleep with our princess. It wasn't planned, actually I always said I would never co sleep. So, I bet you are asking what changed my mind. Well, when we brought N home from the hospital, she had her little sleeper right next to our bed. It is a little bassinet type thing, that was attached to a pack and play. I figured we would keep her with us the first couple of months by our bed, and then transition her to her crib. Yeah... no. Definitely hasn't happened that way. At first, N would go to sleep her in bed, and wake up to breastfeed. Then, I'd put her back in her bed until she nursed again. All seemed okay for a while. Then, one night, I woke up to her with vomit on her face. She threw up. Thank God, she didn't choke on it. From then on, I started noticing she would vomit anytime she slept on her back. Her pediatrician gave me some ideas, but none of them were helping. I started having her sleep with me more and more often. Then, we got a rock and play sleeper by fisher price. That thing is heaven sent. It worked so much better. But, N preferred sleeping with us. She sleeps great with us, compared to constantly waking up in her rock n play.

Now, let me be honest with you all. This has been a vulnerable few posts for me! My beautiful niece, T, passed away when she was almost five months old. She didn't die from SIDS, but that was my fear. The first few months of N's life, I lived in fear. I didn't want people holding her, afraid that they would angle her wrong and she would suffocate. And, when I saw a family member hold her and she literally changed colors in front of my eyes when she was a month old, I panicked. I hated others having her. I loved to sleep with her, so I could easily open my eyes and check on her. I was, and honestly still am, afraid of losing her. Now, I don't worry anywhere near like I used to. I've worked through my fears a lot, leaps and bounds from where it used to be.

So, why do I still sleep with N? Many reasons...

1. She still has reflux issues. It isn't bad enough that her dr will prescribe meds, and I am grateful she doesn't need to be on any medication. But, she still is so uncomfortable on her back, she arches and cries.

2. I do not believe in crying it out. N hates being in a room alone. She cries so hard, it is heartbreaking. I don't want her alone in her crib crying. I don't like being left alone when I am upset, so why would I do it to my daughter? Babies need comfort, love, human touch, skin to skin contact, not a hard mattress in a dark room.
             ~ As a side bar... I completely respect every parents decision to parent as they would like. We are all different and allowed to parent as we choose! My best friend allows her daughter to cry it out. I think she is the best mom I have met and her daughter is completely happy and healthy! Sometimes, I feel I may be the problem here. I am not strong enough to let her cry.. And I am okay with that.

3. The United States is one of the only countries that doesn't automatically cosleep and finds it controversial. Most countries that automatically cosleep have the lowest rates of SIDS or infant death.

4.I love to snuggle my little girl. I love that she snuggles up to me and plays with my hair as she falls asleep. And, I love waking up to her first thing every morning. Some days, she is gentle and rubs my face, other days she is picking my nose and shoving her fingers in my mouth! haha. Love that :-)

5. Co-sleeping is completely safe, as long as you are smart about it! Don't go to bed with drugs or alcohol in your system. If you tend to roll a lot, put a co sleep attachment on the side of your bed or in it. A lot of people even bring their babies crib in and take a side off of it, bringing the other side up to the mattress. No soft mattresses, or pillows. And, not a ton of blankets. I am such a light sleeper, I wake up often and easily.

Now... we are starting to transition N to her own crib. She is 9 months old, and we don't want her sleeping with us when she is 3! But, we are taking it at our own pace. Let me tell you, during the day N sleeps just fine alone in her swing, and sometimes her pack n play. At night, not yet. So, we are starting our transition. We have an age that we want her sleeping alone by.

Believe me, co sleeping hasn't been accepted well by some of our family and friends, but overall we have a gorgeous, healthy, happy little girl that is advanced in almost every developmental area. I make sure she is always comfortable when she sleeps, no matter where she is sleeping. And, we do what works best for our family. I don't hope everyone in the world cosleeps, because it isn't best for every family. Just wanted to share a little piece of our parenting!

Now, here is my outfit of the day! I forgot to post a photo with my last blog, so I made sure to remember today! N and I had a playdate at the park today! Have a wonderful day all!

Love always,


  1. I think you may be confusing the terms "co-sleeping" with "bed-sharing"! It is a common mistake, even made by experts, and it is easy to see why people confuse them two! :)

    I did co-sleep with my son until he was nearly 5 months old. I just felt it was better, and safer. Like you, I was afraid of SIDS, and obsessed about it a lot. To have him right there by our bed in his sleeper made us feel safer, and kept him safe!

    I never really understood why people in US are so against co-sleeping and bedsharing. Yes, there are tragedies that occurred from it mainly because of misinformation and lack of education of safety with co-sleeping and bedsharing. If you look at other countries and other cultlures; you will find that bedsharing is very common, and quite safe!!!

    1. Ashley! That is so true that other cultures co sleep and bed share safely! And, you are right on co sleeping terms and bed sharing! I just used the term co sleeping as many people do not know the difference. Next time, I should explain the two and use the correct terms :) It's always nice to know that others have the same fears as I do! Sometimes I feel like a weird mom! Thank you so much for sharing with me!!! :)

  2. Ashley, Ashley here.... I never even realized there was a difference between co-sleeping and bed-sharing!


  3. My. Son is now almost 3, he is in his own room and has been since before he was 1. Being first time parents when we first brought our son home from the hospital we were worried about him sleeping alone but at the same time I didn't want him to get use to sleeping with us. Of course he hated his bassinet and wouldn't sleep in it and only wanted to sleep in our arms, after a few days of sleeping sitting up with our son in our arms I ordered a rock & sleeper from Target. Baby C loved it. It is angled up and kind of hugs the baby while in it. (It was worth the $48 +$50 for overnight shipping :) Once baby C outgrew it we moved him to his crib but not before moving his crib to our room. I wasn't yet ready for my baby boy to be alone in his room. Eventually we did move baby C to his own room and than I think we slept on the floor in there the first night just to make sure all was well. All was better than well, he loved having his own room. Here we are 2 years later and our little man loves his room, his own space. We do get the occasional nights when he crawls in bed with us but they are rare. Its usually me sleeping in his twin bed with him :)

    1. Michaela, that is too cute that you go snuggle with him! I loved our rock n play sleeper too! It's awesome!!

      I think we will move Natalie's crib into our room too, and transition the same way you did :) I'm so glad that's working great for you family and he loves his own space :)