Monday, August 5, 2013

I'm still me!

Happy Monday, everyone! I hope that I find you all well after a fantastic weekend! 

We had a fairly low-key weekend, which tends to be a rare occurrence for us. However, Baby C was in a parade with his Mia and Poppo (MH's parents) on Saturday. He was the cutest cowboy in the whole parade too! ;) He did get pretty sleepy, because it was during his nap time, but he was such a good sport and we were able to catch up on sleep later that day. 

Before the parade with mommy -

During the parade... hangin' in there and watching all of the people just adoring him :) -

I want to talk a little bit about smething that came to my attention today: the assumptions that people make about me because I am a stay at home mom. Namely, that I am uneducated or unintelligent. 

I got into a bit of what I thought was going to be a friendly debate with a girl on a chat forum that I am a part of. I have conversed with this specific group of women for years back when Facebook still hosted forums such as The Knot, The Nest, and Mommyhood. I had been a part of The Knot when MH and I got engaged and were planning our Wedding, and then moved over to The Nest when we got married. When Facebook stopped hosting these forums, we all got together and created our own and expanded into a chat group on Facebook. I have "known" many of these women through planning our Weddings, going through our first years of marriage, and even our pregnancies and now as mommies. I have also seen them go through losses, celebrations, graduations, moves, and new jobs. We have all changed a lot in the last 4 years, but our core values have stayed the same and we generally know each other pretty well. Still, it seems that as some of us have gone from very determined career women to stay-at-home-moms, those who remain career-driven, have sort of begun to suddenly converse with us as though we are suddenly not educated. And I've been wondering why this is. It's not as though these "non-moms" are suddenly super rude. And it's certainly not as though the SAHMs are suddenly stupid. So what is it? 

I think it's a stereotype that my generation grew up hearing a lot about without actually seeing: that women "belong at home... in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant". Yes, we've all heard the jokes. But really, they aren't funny. Women really did have to suffer that type of male oppression, and fought hard so that we don't have to live up to those expectations in the 21st century. "Back then", it wasn't that women weren't educated. It was simply that their education and intellect was not valued - at least not how it is now - and women weren't expected (or really asked) to participate in any sort of intelligent convesation. Now, before anyone jumps down my throat, I'm flashing back to the days of poodle skirts and white gloves, here. Women were basically expected to go to school until they were of marrying age or ready to settle down and give their husbands children. But now... Now women are seen in very high-powered careers, as doctors, lawyers, CEOs, teachers... you name it. 

Still, these women with whom I have conversed on a wide array of topics, suddenly talk to me as though I'm an idiot. It's not all of them, but even one is a little offenive to me. So, I ask again, why? Get ready to gasp in unison... I sincerely believe it's because we are the "Pinterest" generation. With things like Pinterest, women are feeling the pressure to "do-it-yourself", and hand make everything for her kid's birthday party, and become a professional seamstress who makes her own clothes... the list goes on and on. Please don't misunderstand me here, because I do my fair share of "Pinning", especially in the DIY section, because I like to daydream that I have "crafting" abilities. But I simply don't. And I don't plan to force myself to be good at something that doesn't really bring me as much joy as so many other things. I love music, photography, science, technolgy, and more than anything, I enjoy learning. MH and I both agree whole-heartedly that we want to raise Baby C in a household where education is not just a priority, but valued, and where learning is encouraged on a daily basis and in every possible situation. But today... today a girl I spoke with online, made me to feel as though I am in no position to be "teaching" my son, all because I am a SAHM. The way she spoke to me, made me feel as though my opinion held less value because I don't have a career. She chose to intentionally talk down to me, so I chose to disengage. But it sincerely "bummed" me out, because it was a topic on which I actually am quite knowledgeable and for which I have a passion. Nonetheless, I felt muted. For a split second, I actually did feel stupid. I felt like I had no leg to stand on. 

Suddenly, I realized that the assumptions this girl was making about me (despite knowing me prior to my SAHM status), were identical to those that I had fleetingly allowed to cross my mind about women who I knew that became SAHMs before I did. I was shocked at myself. Seriously, what is it about me that made me suddenly view women who I once found so intelligent, with these glasses of judgement and assumption? Well, I think that when it comes to SAHMs, it becomes easy to forget what and who they (we) used to be. But in any case, now knowing how it feels, I can only hope that I have never made any of the women in my life feel this way. If there is any chance that I have and you are reading this, please consider this my apology from one SAHM to another. I believe we make assumptions based on what we don't know, and motherhood is simply not something you can explain to someone who is not a mother. 

Alright, well, I hope that wasn't all too jumbled. Those are just my frustrated thoughts from today.

But I wanted to share some more fun pictures of Baby C that I took while getting him used to his cowboy hat. I have been "re-branding" myself as a photographer and put together a new logo for myself and have scheduled several upcoming photo shoots that I am so excited about! Here are some shots of C with my new logo:

Alright, well, that's all from me for today! Sorry this is so late, but it was just "one of those days". ;)

Zebra hugs and love! 

No comments:

Post a Comment