"Children running around mean you always have someone to share your love with; slamming doors and messy floors mean you have a home that is well lived in. A tired husband means you have someone to work and provide for your family; and a messy kitchen and dirty dishes mean you have food to provide for your family. Every little thing is a blessing in its own way."
Life is beautiful. Life is one change after another. And I'm one of those people who is incredibly resistant to change. Really... I hate it. I even get mad at close friends and family for a minute when they change something in their lives ; I want everything to stay the same. But I'm not staying the same. I'm constantly changing and growing. But even still... I've been a largely insecure person for a very long time.
Oh... Guess what!? I'm officially two pounds below my pre-pregnancy weight! I'm pretty excited, but I can't take all the credit and say that I worked SO hard, because (and some of you will probably hate me for saying this) I am one of those lucky ones with the fast metabolism, who tends to drop weight quickly. Honestly, though... I couldn't care less. You see, one thing that pregnancy did for me, was teach me. Pregnancy taught me to appreciate and love my body; have faith in my body and believe in the strength of what my body was made to do. Before pregnancy, I was constantly insecure, and battled in my mind over loving my body and what it looked like. But having a high risk pregnancy helped me to understand a whole new level of sacrifice. I was willing to do absolutely anything to ensure that my little boy was born healthy and happy. I didn't care if I got stretch marks, which I did; I didn't care if I had wider hips afterward, which I do; and I didn't care if I carried extra weight for a while afterwards. So, hitting below my pre-pregnancy weight, while exciting, was not something I actually cared about. Although I'm not terribly surprised... I hardly stop moving all day, between my job and being with baby C at home in the afternoons! Still... This certainly wasn't a priority for me at all! You see, I also learned confidence through my pregnancy as well as through labor and delivery. Everyone approaches their experience differently, but MH and I took Bradley classes. (A natural delivery method class.) Even though I ended up being induced and getting an epidural after 52 hours of labor (he was born 2 hours after that), I was, and still am, in awe of the incredible strength of my body! Not trying to brag or say that I'm especially incredible in any way... A woman's body is amazing, and truly meant for this. But I absolutely enjoyed every minute of my labor and delivery experience! Taking the classes that I did, taught me to be confident that my body knew what it needed to do. Yes, I was induced... So my body just needed some help getting kick started. So what's wrong with that, right? It happens! But I learned to give in and let it all happen. It was amazing. The intensity of it all was truly incredible. (I know... I keep saying that... Haha.) Anyway, this confidence, spilled over into my life of motherhood. Do I get stressed? Absolutely. Do I sometimes wonder if I'm doing a good job? Most definitely. But overall, I'm confident in the decisions that I have made and continue to make regarding baby C.
Reaching beyond motherhood, I have gained a strong confidence in myself as a wife, employee, and woman. I know who I am; I know what kind of person I am and what kind of person I want to be. Now don't think I'm some sort of android, immune to human feelings of insecurity and emotions accompanied by mommyhood. That's not true at all. I get those thoughts and feeling as much as anyone else. But I have found what works for me in the way of chasing all of that away! I remind myself that I am the best mommy for C; I am the best wife for MH; I am a valued and appreciated employee. I may not the be exact same girl I used to be, but I like to think that I'm just a prouder, happier, more confident version of her. :) And I have fallen in love... In love with my husband, in love with my little boy, and in love with myself. Yeah... I think I kind of rock. Haha!
Alright, folks! I hope that wasn't too random and that my thoughts weren't all over the place! It's a busy night at work tonight, so I've been kind of back and forth for a few hours. But in any case, I hope you remember to love yourself, love your family and love your life.
Here's my OOTD:
Yes I'm in a bathroom... At work. Lol
Amen, Ashley. :) I agree completely about how pregnancy has changed our perspective on our bodies. Some for better, and some for worse. Fortunately, in my case; I'm like you, and all of my pregnancy weight has melted off, and I have kept some extra 10 pounds on (for my recovery, it is a good thing to keep that and I do need it!), and I actually prefer this body over what I had pre-pregnancy. I'm always in an awe of my son. :)
ReplyDeleteLove your sweater!
Thanks, Ashley! I am so glad to hear that you have found that same confidence and perspective that I have! This view of myself and the world is so much more beautiful than the one that I was blinding myself with before! :)
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