Saturday, April 27, 2013

The Reality of Friendship

Hi! Kailly here. Hope you all had a great Saturday! The weather is finally gorgeous here. I went to a garage sale with my best friend, J, at 7:20 this morning and it was already 52 degrees! Hello spring!! N and L slept in this morning so it was nice to have some mommy time.

Let's chat about friends today. Did you think you would grow up with best friends and be best friends forever? Yep, me too. It doesn't happen. Well, rarely happens. I have a best friend from New York, where I grew up, that is still, and always will be my best friend. Also, complete side bar, but will you pray for her? One year ago today, she saw a friend pass away. She's hurting. And the guilt she has felt in the past year has been so hard on her, though it wasn't her fault at all.

Okay, attempting to get back on topic. I always thought I would find who my true friends were in high school as I wept over being broken up with. As time passed and I grew up, I thought I would find my true friends as I got engaged, and then married. And, it's true, I've learned a lot about friendships, and the true colors of people, so to speak. I've weeded a good amount of people out, and honestly still have some to go, I'm sure.

But, when you get pregnant you learn who your friends are. Oh, and when you become a mom, you really learn who your true friends are. People stop calling. They distance themselves. I've always wondered why? I still am "me." Honestly, I'm a better person. N has made me a much better person. I have a new definition to loving life all thanks to my new partner in crime, whom is always attached to me either in my arms or via Ergo! So, why disappear? My husband just called it "breaking up." It kind of is in a way. My heart hurts when someone I thought was my "BFF" just goes away. I miss them, I get sad, etc.

Maybe they disappear because we are on different life paths. Maybe, they don't think I'm a better person? Someone said once that I didn't have as much time anymore for them. That's definitely true. Instead of relaxing after a work day, I now work 24/7 and don't always answer phone calls or instantly respond to a text. But I will. It may take 5 minutes, it may be a day, but if it isn't instantaneous like before my precious girl came, they feel ignored. And, honestly that sucks. My life doesn't revolve around the latest episode of "Grey's Anatomy" or "The Bachelor" anymore. Well, "The Bachelor" was very important to me this last season. But, I watched it one or two days late. This is because I have a little girl. She calls me mommy and takes up all of my time. And, I love every bit about it.

Believe me when I say I've messed up friendships. I've turned my back on people that I shouldn't have, and I've apologized. I've been that girl that's been frustrated. I've been that person that's walked away from a friendship being impatient with their life change. Heck, I've talked about people behind their backs when I shouldn't have!

You know what I hate most? Fake friends. The ones that are your friends for no reason. The ones that constantly go against what you have to say, constantly want to "one up" you in life. I cannot flipping stand it. It automatically puts me in the defensive mode, and I tend to get overly frustrated, flustered, and just be quiet before I burst. I don't do well with competing. If you know how I grew up, I constantly felt like I had to "fight" to survive with my mother. I don't fight well anymore. I don't have the energy. Well, unless you go after my princess, then all bets are off and bear claws quickly come out to protect my precious girl.

So, enjoy the rest of your weekend. Enjoy your true friends in life! They truly make living more enjoyable, don't they? And if you are rethinking any of your friendships, remember to always appreciate the true friends, and tell them. And, if you're out of touch with some you miss, call or text them. It's never to late to be back in touch with your friends! A true friend will pick up on conversation like you haven't lost anytime at all!

Have a blessed Sunday!

Love, Kailly

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